Months that end in Arrrrrrgggghh.

I have eaten at Flying Fish, and I left impressed with their flavors and execution. I possessed some high hopes for the Oyster Frenzy event they were hosting. Hopes... meet jagged rocks, and prepare to be dashed.

First and most obvious problem from the onset...OVERSOLD. We walked into a 3-alarm fire hazard. I swear to you, we could barely move, let alone get to the drink-ticket table, the bar, or circuitously navigate the food stations. Bright, red cocktail sauce being wielded on flimsy, white-paper plates just begged to be douched all over the side of some unsuspecting, mollusckular munchhound. This was a pickpockets wet dream and I was mute with disgust.

Problem numero dos...UNINSPIRED. Bisque, Rockefeller, cornmeal-fried, or raw...I truly expected some different expressions of the buttery bivalve. The breading on the fried version really missed the boat on seasoning. Was the chef depending on the red-sauce and horseradish to liven up the bland blobs of crunch? I do not know, but screw them anyway...dissappointment...washing...over me. The bisque was too milky. It should have reduced some more. Yes the oysters IN the stew were delicious, but they still couldn't lift the dish above the mediocre, thin-bisqued broth.


Some good things:

• The Rockefeller. They were packed with a rich, creamy, cheese component evidently bolstered with some wine/vermouth/cognac. Some panko crumbs and spinach, etc. blah, blah. We all know what is in Oysters Rockefeller...they WERE good though.
• Raw oysters. 5 quality, and subtly unique varieties of oyster. All I could eat...nothing to criticize here.
• Pairings. The drinks they were slingin matched up with their preparations pretty well. Malty red-ale and a floral, delicate pilsner were tasty with the fried oysters. The red helped the stew overcome some of its negatives as well, sweetening up the deal for a mouthful of bland bisque. There was sparkling and sauv blanc and cucumber cosmos that worked bright on bright with the fresh, raw guests of honor.
  

Burger Bulger

Porkchop Omelette

Yeah, that IS an entire porkchop about to be folded up into that egg. Afraid?

Hashbrowns mandoline

I really feel this takes shredded tuber to a ridiculous level. I blanche and drain (well) the long juliennes of russet.
I put a nice golden-brown crust on with olive oil in a cast-iron skillet. I flip the whole "brown" give it one more minute on the burner, and then put it in a 400 degree oven for about 15 min.
Then how about an egg(overeasy), some crumbled Basque blue cheese, white beans and parsley. Smack dab right on top. Okay, also a crapload of bacon.

Pie aye, aye.

A moment of reverence for the single greatest invention of all times past, present and future.

Homemade pizza can be a little daunting and a lot disappointing.
If you nail it, it is a reason to celebrate, if you botch even one of the constituent pieces, you may want to try one of those shooting spree things you've read so much about.

The most-often massacred pizza pie building block is certainly the crust/dough. Does your crust taste like raw dough? Too soggy? Not crispy, but more like a hard, flour-based cement (One bite and smasho...it's shattered). Don't load the gun yet.


It is simple to make dough. Do not let anything disuade you from that mindset. I have found that the divine ratio of pizza dough is 3 to 1. That is, 3 parts flour/grains to 1 part water/liquid. Last night I used ...


2 cups wheat flour,
3/4cups all-purpose flour, and
1 cup of spent grains (left over from a batch of beer that I brewed on Sunday.)
1 cup warm H20 to activate the yeast
1/4 cup skim milk (optional)
2 Tbsp honey (to dissolve in the warm H20 for the yeast)
2 Tbsp olive oil
2 Tbsp salt
1 packet dry yeast

Combine the H20 and the yeast in a bowl, let the yeast proof for 10 min (it will be all foamy).
Combine all dry ingredients in a bowl(not yeast smarta$$e$), incorporate everything homogenously.
After proofing, add the olive oil and milk to the wet goods.
Incorporate the dry with the wet.
Stir firmly to develop a sticky doughball. JUST dry enough to handle. I like olive oil on my hands to help me.
Add dry as needed...you WILL need to add some dry stuff. Remember this poignant quote:

"The divine ratio of pizza dough is really more of a divine guideline or divine 'ballpark figure' than ratio."
-Me (2007)

Knead the glutinous mass until you can tuck it into a tight little lump.
Take the whole doughball and put it in an oiled up bowl with a towel on it for a few hours someplace warm. Let the dough at least double in size (more like 2.5X to 3X original size).
After the yeast has en-hugened the dough give it a quick working over to re-aquire the tucked up ball look.



You can cut in in half or quarters if you want more manageble pieces.
I cut the mass in half and then one of the halfs in half. Leaving one half and two quarter pieces.
I let the half rise some more in the same bowl it was in before.
One of the quarters I flatten (as thin as possible...really thin) into a pizza shape.
You can top the raw dough or you can precook the crust like I did last night.

What about that other quarter piece? Well...

Meat me in Istanbul.

Lucky enough to spend the past two weeks in Turkiye, I have realized that the Turks have no peer in the preparation of carnivorous consumables. The meaty morsels varied from the exquisitely presented pirzola (lamb chops) above, to the bluntly straightforward Kofte pictured below.


I dined on more meat in two weeks than I had all of last year. Beef, mutton, lamb, chicken, and even some spicy Kokerec (lamb intestines) introduced me to the Turkish mastery of seasoned and grilled animal bodies. It is important to mention that I sampled some dishes from multiple establishments. Believe me when I say that pirzola can be just as deliciious from a Kebap house as it is from a Euro-style cafe.

Fully showcasing their meat mastery, there is no need for a grill with this dish of raw Kofte. The only heat neccessary is that which emanates from the cooks hands. This is why these little lumps look like someone "Kung-Fu gripped" the living bajeezus out of them.

Melon Drama

This combo knocked my wife and I on our backsides. Take one, perfectly ripened Tuscan cantaloupe, cut into bite-size morsels. Liberally douse the tender, juicy melon with fresh-squeezed lime and a touch of salt. On each piece, place either a basil leaf, or fresh sprig of cilantro. Finalize the amuse bouche with a sliver of creamy avocado.